How to Ask Someone to Be a Reference

A good reference can tip a job your way. The key is to ask the right person, in the right way, and to make it as easy as possible for them to help.

Who should you ask?

Pick someone who knows your work well and can speak about it specifically — usually a former manager, a team lead, or a close colleague. Recent and relevant beats senior and distant: a manager who saw your day‑to‑day will give a far more convincing reference than a senior leader who barely worked with you. Always ask before listing anyone as a referee.

How to ask politely

Be direct but give them an easy way to decline, remind them of your work together, and offer to share the role details so they can tailor what they say. Keeping it low‑pressure makes a yes more likely.

Referee, written reference, or LinkedIn recommendation?

There are a few kinds of reference. A referee agrees to take a call or email from an employer. A written reference is a letter you can attach. A LinkedIn recommendation is public and reusable. Match your ask to what you need — the reference message generator covers all of them, plus a quick note to confirm someone's contact details before an employer reaches out.

What details to share — and saying thank you

Share only the details you're comfortable with, and when confirming a referee, ask which contact details they'd prefer you pass on. Once they've helped, thank them properly — a quick thank‑you message keeps the relationship warm for next time.